More About Me

Let's see, in my last "More About Me" I ended with my divorce from BC. A few months before we split, she convinced me to start therapy(I will always be grateful to her for that), well anyway after just a few sessions it became couples therapy for that last few weeks. Valentines day 1998 I have her diamond and gold earring worth about $24oo(I had a friend in the biz so I didn't spend any where near that) and she game me a white dress shirt, boy I sure missed seeing that red flag, the next day she asked for a the divorce. At that point I knew that the only thing that would make her happy was to agree to the divorce. That evening I had an appointment with my therapist, needless to say when I got to his office I let loose and told him exactly what an incompetent imbecile I thought he was and never went back. After the shock changed to anger and then to depression I got suicidal, and decided that I needed to find a new therapist or I was not going to survive. I went through several before I found one that I was comfortable with when I found John, at that time I had no idea just why I was so comfortable talking with him. At the end of each session we would take the last few minutes for what he called a shooting match, he would as a quick question and I was to answer without thinking about it. Well after several months and dealing with a lot of issues from my child hood, one of his shooting match questions was "Are You Gay?" I said "Yes", he sat there with out saying a word, my mind was racing a million miles a second, for the first time in my life I felt so, so, so, so..... FREE. I had been in denial about so many things in my life for so long, my sudden renewed and empowered sense of self was so over whelming that all I could do was cry, seemed that with each teardrop the me that wasn't real was being washed away and revealing the true me. Ok . Wow...... that's enough for now, next time I will tell you about the session we had on his kitchen floor(don't go there....altho given the chance I would have......lol.....)

So for a final note for today. If your not happy with the way your life is don't mope through it, get into therapy or at least find a support group..... NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If the first therapist you see doesn't have give you a certain comfort level, find another one, it took me at least 8 tries before I found John. It can save your life.... it saved mine.