I just want to grab him and.......

Victims And The Damage Of Verbal Abuse

"This article is part of our continuing series on domestic abuse and violence in the GLBT community. Currently over 30% of gay / same gender relationships are now reported to be involved in some type of serious domestic abuse. These figures are staggering, and the current lack of help and resources for this growing epidemic is shameful. Our community's awareness is imperative. It is time to unite to help provide gay abuse victims with the appropriate crisis intervention, and a solid support network." -- ( Michael - GAYTWOGETHER )
Does someone close to you constantly insult you or humiliate you? Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells in an effort to keep that person from blowing up at you? Are you starting to believe the accusations that person levels at you? If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, you may be a victim of verbal abuse.
This form of abuse, though it may not leave the easily discernible bruises that we associate with its physical equivalent, should not to be taken lightly. Whether perpetrated by a partner, parent, friend, or boss, verbal assaults can be every bit as devastating as physical battering. Ongoing, repeated verbal attacks meted out by an intimate, or by someone in a position of authority, can drastically affect self-esteem, give rise to enormous anxiety and periods of confusion, and even lead to clinical depression in susceptible individuals.
Recognizing Verbal Abuse Family therapist Bruce Linton of Berkeley, California speculates that we are inclined to underestimate the damage that verbal assaults -- harsh words, or even words spoken in a harsh manner -- can inflict. "Many people take to heart the old saying, 'Sticks and stones can break my bones but names will never hurt me,'" says Linton. "But names can be very injurious, especially when said by someone we love."
Continue reading "Victims And The Damage Of Verbal Abuse" »

Posted at http://gaytwogether.typepad.com/gaytwogether/ 3/9/09

Blog Review.....

Point and Shoot. (yes, I went there too)

"Good Morning" indeed...... Woof. A selection of hot men and a very nice variety of other topics.

http://photogreg.typepad.com/point_shoot/

This blog has been added to my blog list in the side bar.

"Family Guy" Gay Gene Episode: Offensive or Not?

Posted at ://gaytwogether.typepad.com/gaytwogether/page/2/ 3/16/09 with video of this episode.

Fox's "Family Guy" is coming under fire for it's "Gay Gene" episode, in which Peter Griffin voluntarily gets injected with the "gay gene" as part of a medical experiment. And though the show is a favorite among gays, many, including GLAAD, are crying foul.
Make no mistake: the jokes came fast and furious, and while many relied on the oldest stereotypes in the books, (limp wrists, musicals), things got a bit dicier with references to orgies, glory holes and fisting.
Personally, I was ok with it. While a couple of things made me a bit uncomfortable (including the bizarre bit when Chris hits Lois), I am a fan of off-color humor at the expense of anyone and everyone...including myself and my friends.
Moreover, the easy jokes were counterbalanced by meaningful messages, which ultimately carry more weight than all the cheap shots combined. Peter's wife, Lois, though saddened by the fact that her husband is now gay and has left her for a man, decides to support Peter: "A person’s sexual identity is no more a choice than the color of his skin. This is who you are. I can’t change you and it would be wrong for me to try". This sentiment (when was the last time you heard that expressed on national TV?), coupled with Brian's disapproval of Straight Camp and Baby Stewie's twisted bible-thumping rhetoric, reveals where the show's heart lies.
But it's a fine line between laughing AT and laughing WITH sometimes - so what about you? Were you LYAO or disheartened by the show's representation of gays? If you haven't seen it, watch the show in its entirety below. Feel free to post comments and let us know what you think.
Article By Clarke Hamlin for GAY.COM .

Now That's Versatile......

Point Of View

Anything you desire Sir.......

Couples

I Just Wanna.................

Dark Delights

I Just Want to ..... Know Where To Begin!

Fuck Me Now!!!

I just want to grab him and.......

Fucking

Merriam-Webster Changes Definition of Marriage.

Posted at http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Gay New Links

I have just added a list of gay news links in the side bar. If there is a news link that you think I or other readers of this blog would be interested in please let me know.

SomeWhereUnderMyRainbow@gmx.com

Editorial..... Gays In The Military

The following 7 post are copied from http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ . Starting with Feb 2 and ending with the most recent posting as of this evening. Each of the 7 posting has the link and date that Michael posted each one on his site. Michael has strong views on the subject of "DADT" and I quite readily agree with him. He has many more posting on this and other news worthy subjects for, from and to the gay community, not just here in the US but around the world as well.

Obama Back Peddling on DADT?

I seriously want to be an avid supporter of Barack Obama now that he's in office, but I feel like I have whiplash at times from all the back and forth he's doing - not to mention needlessly seeking GOP support. The latest possible back peddling involves Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Previously, Obama administration officials made it sound like the repeal of DADT was a sure thing. Now, Obama is prattling on telling the Pentagon and gay-rights advocates that his administration will have to study the implications for national security and enlist more support in Congress before trying to overturn the so-called "don't ask, don't tell" law and allow gays to serve openly in the military. As if we don't already know what the homophobic senior bass at the Pentagon will conclude. I'm feeling once again like perhaps LGBT voters were suckered by Obama. And as for courting GOP support, WTF is wrong with Obama. These folks despise him and want him to fail. He and the Democrats need to remember who elected them and move on without the GOP and effect the changes he was voted into office to make. Here are highlights from the Boston Globe:
*
They said Obama, who pledged during the campaign to overturn the law, does not want to ask lawmakers to do so until the military has completed a comprehensive assessment of the impact that such a move would have on military discipline. Then, the president hopes to be able to make a case to members of both parties that overturning the 1993 law would be in the best interest of national security.
*
At the Pentagon, officials say they have been told not to expect the administration to seek to lift the ban quickly. One senior officer, speaking on the condition of anonymity because he is not authorized to speak to the press, said staff officers for Admiral Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, have been told it will be several months at the earliest - possibly not even this year - until the top brass will be formally asked to weigh in on a change in policy.
*
In the meantime, longtime opponents of repealing "don't ask, don't tell" are preparing to fight any efforts to allow gays to serve openly. Elaine Donnelly, [homo obsessed ice-bitch] president of the conservative Center for Military Readiness, has testified before Congress on the issue and says that open homosexuality in the military would severely weaken discipline.
*
But Nathaniel Frank, a researcher at the Palm Center, a think tank at the University of California, Santa Barbara that has studied the issue, believes there is good reason for the Obama administration to move cautiously on the issue that harmed Clinton's relationship with the military. Yet Frank also said waiting too long could jeopardize the entire effort: "A delay could let opposition fester and build."
*
My position is that I continue to wait for Obama to prove he did not play LGBT voters for suckers - taking our money and our votes, but then willing to throw us under the bus whenever it's expedient.

http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Monday, February 02, 2009 0

Another Witch Hunt: No One Asked; She Didn't Tell

I talk often about Don't Ask, Don't Tell in part because the whole policy is blatantly discriminatory and based on religious beliefs that have no place in doling out rights to citizens. In my view, the Christianist support for the policy is part of their agenda to have the laws treat gays as inferiors which helps bootstrap their anti-gay agenda. All their talk about unit cohesion and military readiness is a mere smoke screen for their real agenda of denigration. More importantly, however, I write about DADT because I know so many dedicated gays in the military who have to worry constantly about being outed by bigots and/or those who hold some sort of personal grudge or jealousy. In fact, I have clients who were outed and discharged and never even learned who had betrayed them. Other times the outing may result from meddlesome gossip. The latest example of DADT's poisonous effect is that of Amy Brian who was thrown out of the Kansas Army National Guard after a civilian co-worker said she had seen Brian kissing a woman in the checkout line at a Wal-Mart store. The fact that Brian had served in Iraq without any difficulties meant nothing and she was discharged. All this injustice so that sex obsessed homo-haters like Elaine Donnelly - who has NO military experience herself - can feel self-satisfied and superior to gays. Here are some highlights from the Capital-Journal:
*
Amy Brian found out this past November just what the military's "don't ask-don't tell" policy means. No one in the military asked her if she was gay during her nine years in the Kansas Army National Guard. And she didn't tell anybody in the military she was gay.
*
But in August 2008, a Kansas Army National Guard lieutenant informed Brian she was being investigated for homosexual conduct after a female civilian co-worker at the U.S. Property and Fiscal Office said she had seen Brian kissing a woman in the checkout line at a Wal-Mart store. From the moment the co-worker made her statement, Brian's performance record and the sacrifices she had made to serve her country in Iraq no longer mattered.
*
She joins nearly 12,500 other lesbian, gay and bisexual service members who have been discharged by the Pentagon from 1994 through 2007. "I was not separated because of any type of misconduct but plain and simply because someone else had a problem with my sexuality," Brian said.
*
All seemed to be going well until this past July, when another gay Guardsman told Brian "somebody has it in for you" and advised her to delete her MySpace page, where she had indicated she was a lesbian. Brian said the effort to remove her from the Guard started with a barrage of anonymous e-mails referencing her sexual orientation and a networking Web site where her photo was posted. The e-mails were sent to her chain of command, including the Kansas Adjutant General's Office.
*
Brian's life since her military discharge has been stressful. She went without work for two months and dipped into her 401(k) savings to get by. She couldn't finish her master's degree because she had lost her educational benefits. Most of all, she has had a difficult time rectifying the discharge in her mind. She said she served with heterosexual soldiers who were found guilty of adultery, sexual harassment, and credit card fraud and received disciplinary actions instead of discharges.

http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1

Democrat Cold Feet on DADT

While ever enthusiastic to accept LGBT votes and better yet money, the Democrats still demonstrate little true concern for LGBT issues - at least not when it comes to really doing something to make LGBT Americans full citizens. A case in point is the reticence of the Democrats to tackle anti-gay policies like Don't Ask, Don't Tell ("DADT"). At a time when felons, non-citizens and other low quality recruits are being accepted into the military, Congressional Democrats continue to lack the balls to move forward and end DADT. This sad state of affairs was highlighted in an NPR story that quotes Senator Carl Levin as basically absolutely unconcerned about the continued witch hunts and mistreatment of LGBT Americans in the military. Apparently, Levin's attitude is that gays have nowhere else to run politically and, therefore, fu*k em if they don't like what he and his fellow Democrats are doing. As for the comments about the top military brass not supporting the repeal of DADT, their counterparts did not accept the the integration of the military under Harry Truman either, but Truman had the guts and courage to push for what was right - a trait all too lacking in today's Democrat Party. There are truly days where I wonder whether I will live long enough to be an equal citizen in this country. Here are some highlights from the NPR story:
*
For those anxious for the Clinton-era law that prohibits openly gay people from serving in the military to be repealed, the wait may be longer than expected. . . . Obama can't simply sign an executive order to overturn the law — he has to persuade Congress to change it. And Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI), who chairs the Armed Services Committee, says he does not expect the issue to be an early priority for lawmakers.
*
"I'm going to be working with colleagues to see how much support there is for it," Levin says. "And where along the process we can take that issue up. I just don't think we can give that a high priority, given the situation that we face," like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the economic meltdown.
*
Another question is whether military leaders are ready to see the law repealed. Since it was passed in 1993, more than two dozen retired admirals and generals have come forward to say it should be repealed, including John Shalikashvili, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Colin Powell, also a former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, argues that attitudes have evolved since his days on active duty. And Defense Secretary Robert Gates says there's no question the armed forces will follow the lead of Congress and their commander in chief. " 'Don't ask, don't tell' is law — it is a political decision," Gates says. "And if the law changes, we will comply with the law."
*
The view that the current policy is working is still widely held among both Republican and Democratic lawmakers. They make the argument that with wars ongoing in Afghanistan and Iraq, now is not the best time to reignite a controversial, possibly disruptive debate within the military. But Aubrey Sarvis, director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, who is fighting to overturn the law, says it's doable this year. Sarvis says he's talking regularly with Obama's staff and encouraging them to keep their word.
*And [Rep. Ellen Tauscher (D-CA)] Tauscher says the argument about igniting a controversial debate is nonsense. "I would only say that it is always the right time to right a wrong," she says. "And this has been a very big wrong." The congresswoman calls repealing the law "the last big piece of civil rights legislation left." Tauscher plans to introduce the legislation, but she's still waiting to see when the Obama White House will start fighting to allow gays to serve openly in the U.S. armed forces.
*
It looks to me like the LGBT community needs to start inundating their representatives and Senators in Congress to make it clear that gutless hand ringing will equate in loss votes and a decline in monetary contributions.

http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Wednesday, February 25, 2009 0

Argentina Overturns Gay Military Ban

As many countries in the world accept modernity and medical/mental health knowledge concerning sexual orientation, the United States continues to allow its policies to be dictated by the prejudices of intolerant, anti-knowledge, superstitious Christianists. True, another bill to repeal Don't Ask, Don't tell Now, has being introduced in Congress (the Military Enhancement Readiness Act (MREA) filed by by Rep. Ellen O. Tauscher (D-CA) repeals the ban, replacing it with new provisions prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation in the Armed Forces), but to date the Obama administration has equivocated on when it will push to abolish this discriminatory policy. Meanwhile, Argentina has moved ahead of the USA in its acceptance and equal treatment of its LGBT citizens. As Queerity has reported, Argentina has abolished its policy equivalent of DADT. Here are some story highlights:
*
Between affordable high quality wine and this, Argentina is losing its reputation as the land of revolving dictatorships and is increasingly seen as a stable and progressive democracy in Latin America. Effective today, gays and lesbians will be able to serve openly in the Argentinian armed forces, . . .
*
[S]tarting today, a new military justice system goes into effect which decriminalizes homosexuality among uniformed members, eliminates the death penalty, and moves crimes committed exclusively within the military to the public justice sphere [previously there had been a separate military court system]. Under the old system, gays were not permitted to have access to a military career, at the same time as this sexual orientation was penalized.
*
[W]ith this new system, gay men or lesbian women who wish to train in the forces should encounter no impediment, nor any military retaliation areas."
*
Blabbeando has some additional details here.

http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Monday, March 02, 2009 0

Obama Consults Advisers on Military Ban on Gays

I continue to be dismayed with Barack Obama's weak kneed approach to repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell ("DADT"), a policy that daily destroys the careers of honorably serving LGBT Americans for no purpose other than to salve the sensibilities of bigots and a backward thinking military brass. Now, the Associated Press is reporting that Obama is involved in worthless - can we say bullshit- consultations with Neanderthals within the military as he throws LGBT Americans under the bus. Here are some highlights from the AP:
*
WASHINGTON (AP) — The White House says President Barack Obama has begun consulting his top defense advisers on how to lift a ban on gays serving openly in the military.
*But the administration won't say how soon that might happen or whether a group of experts will be commissioned to study the issue in-depth, as some Democrats have suggested.
*The move enables Obama to say he's making good on his campaign promise to reverse the law, but doesn't lock him into doing so anytime soon. The carefully calculated statement, released this week by White House spokesman Tommy Vietor, leaves enough wiggle room to prevent the hot-button issue from consuming Obama's foreign policy agenda, which is dominated by ending the Iraq war and salvaging operations in Afghanistan.
*
I am dismayed by this development for several reasons, one of which is that Obama plans to meet with the same group that helped engineer DADT in the first place. As a new book, Unfriendly Fire: How the Gay Ban Undermines the Military and Weakens America, reveals evidence has repeatedly been concealed or suppressed by the military when it concluded there was no rationale for the gay ban. A synopsis of the book reads as follows:
*
Frank is one of the nation’s leading experts on gays in the military, and in his evenhanded and always scrupulously documented chronicle, he reveals how the ban on open gays and lesbians in the U.S. military has greatly increased discharges, hampered recruitment, and—contrary to the rationale offered by proponents of the ban—led to lower morale and cohesion within military ranks.
*
Frank does not shy away from tackling controversial issues, and he presents indisputable evidence showing that gays already serve openly without causing problems, and that the policy itself is weakening the military it was supposed to protect. In addition to the moral pitfalls of the gay ban, Frank shows the practical damage it has wrought. Most recently, the discharge of valuable Arabic translators (who happen to be gay) under the current policy has left U.S. forces ill-equipped in the fight against terrorism.
*
I live in an area dominated by the influence of the military and know first hand that much of the top brass is chauvinistic, bigoted, and has a dinosaur mentality. If one waits for them for innovation and an admission that change is needed, you will be waiting a long time indeed. Moreover, to progress up the ranks one needs to be an ass kisser and cow tow to the prejudices of senior officers who would be happy if nothing changed for a century or more (having an attractive wife who is good at entertaining is also an important requirement). Again, the deck is stacked against anyone speaking honestly and candidly. Yet this is the group that Obama intends to consult. Give me a break!!

http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Wednesday, March 04, 2009 0

DADT Witch Hunts Continue - 11 Gays Fired in January

I realize that I go off about DADT regularly, but the policy is so ridiculous and given all the dedicated, loyal and competent gays and lesbians I know in the military, it burns me up that this policy continues to exist. It's sole purpose is to please anti-gay bigots and professional Christians who do nothing but spread lies and false information about LGBT Americans. It also angers me that Obama and weak knee Democrats are not moving aggressively to repeal this discriminatory policy. Further insult is added by the fact that even as gays are being forced from the military, felons and mental morons are being recruited. Here are some highlights from the San Francisco Chronicle:
*
The Army fired 11 soldiers in January for violating the military's policy that gay service members must keep their sexuality hidden, according to a Virginia congressman. Democratic Rep. Jim Moran said he has requested monthly updates from the Pentagon on the impact of the policy until it is repealed.
*
In a statement released on Thursday, Moran said the discharged soldiers included an intelligence collector, a military police officer, four infantry personnel, a health care specialist, a motor-transport operator and a water-treatment specialist. "How many more good soldiers are we willing to lose due to a bad policy that makes us less safe and secure?" asked Moran, a member of the House panel that oversees military spending.
*
The White House has said President Barack Obama has begun consulting with Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Adm. Michael Mullen on how to lift the ban. But the administration won't say how soon that might happen or whether a group of experts will be commissioned to study the issue in-depth, as some Democrats have suggested.Likewise, Democratic leaders on Capitol Hill support repealing the ban but have not promised to press the issue immediately.
*
While Obama and Democrats dither, careers continue to be ruined. All so that Elaine Donnelly and similar nutcases can have orgasms over keeping gays stigmatized. It is disgusting.

http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com Thursday, March 12, 2009 0

West Point Grads Form Gay Support Group

One of the arguments that Christianists disingenuously put forth to support "Don't Ask Don't Tell" ("DADT"), is that having gay and lesbian service members would impair unit morale and military readiness. The illustration at left is typical of the lies told by our enemies in this regard. The real fallacy, of course, is that there ARE many, many gays and lesbians serving with distinction in all branches of the military. They are certainly all over the greater Norfolk area and can be found in the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines, all of which have bases or units in the area. I have a significant number, in fact, who are clients, so I do know of what I speak. But then, the real reason for DADT has nothing to do with unit morale or military readiness. Rather, it is based on the Christianist agenda of maintaining laws that make LGBT Americans less than full citizens which can then be cited as evidence of gay inferiority and unworthiness.
*
Apparently, 38 graduates of the U. S. Military Academy at West Point decided that they would do their part to expose the lies upon which DADT was constructed and has been maintained to date. As the Navy Times is reporting, these Military Academy graduates came out of the closet Monday with an offer to help their alma mater educate future Army leaders on the need to accept and honor the sacrifices of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender troops. Here are some story highlights:
*
“Knights Out” wants to serve as a connection between gay troops and Army administrators, particularly at West Point, to provide an “open forum” for communication between gay West Point graduates and their fellow alumni and to serve in an advisory role for West Point leaders in the eventuality — which the group believes is both “imminent and inevitable” — that the law and policy collectively known as “don’t ask, don’t tell” are repealed by Congress.
*
“We’re publicly announcing our sexuality, our orientation,” said 1st Lt. Dan Choi, a National Guardsman with the 1st Bn., 69th Infantry, based in Manhattan. “It’s just one part of who we are in saying that we are standing to be counted.”
*In forming Knights Out, its 38 members are following the example of similar support and education groups formed by graduates of the U.S. Naval Academy and U.S. Air Force Academy, known respectively as USNA Out and Blue Alliance. Most if not all of these groups’ members also belong to the Service Academy Gay and Lesbian Alumni social network, a group that Knights Out claims includes some active-duty commanders serving in Iraq and Afghanistan.
*
Choi, a Korean by descent, is a combat veteran of Iraq who graduated from West Point in 2003 with a degree in Arabic language. He said his unit is aware that he’s a homosexual and added, “I’m very comfortable with all the repercussions right now. To me, it’s about doing the right thing, not about trying to fit into the process that gets you the rank or prevents you from getting a discharge. “If that’s the repercussion, I’m ready to take it,” he said. “I think it’s more important that I let everybody know that … it is a wrong policy.”
*
Rep. Ellen Tauscher, D-Calif., recently introduced legislation in Congress that would repeal the law. . . . Another Democrat, Rep. Jim Moran of Virginia, has asked the military for a monthly report on don’t ask, don’t tell discharges. Moran announced Monday that the Army discharged 11 gay soldiers in January.
*“At a time when our military’s readiness is strained to the breaking point from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the armed forces continue to discharge vital service members under the outdated, outmoded don’t ask, don’t tell policy,” Moran said. “Our allies have overcome this issue, facing no adverse consequences from lifting bans focused on soldiers’ sexual orientation. . . Moran, a long-time opponent of the military gay ban, is a co-sponsor of Tauscher’s Military Readiness Enhancement Act (HR 1283).
*
Again, DADT has nothing to do with unit readiness or morale. Rather it's all about appeasing the hate-based agenda of delusional Christianists like Elaine Donnelly (who has ZERO military experience herself). DADT needs to be repealed and one can only hope that Obama will stop kissing Christianist asses, grow a backbone and start making good on his campaign rhetoric.

Posted by Michael-in-Norfolk at http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/ Tuesday, March 17, 2009 0

There's Just Something About A Man In Uniform.....

In The ZONE.......

Artsy